A Man and My Dog.

I have given up my dog. I had to. I still see Eddie everyday but he brings my father such comfort and joy, comfort and joy. Maybe I should hire a little Christmas Choir. Really, no one has ever seen anything quite like it. He is all my father ever talks about. On the day my mother died, in fact with in an hour after my mother's passing, Eddie placed himself at my father's feet. When my father got up, so did Eddie. Everyone took note. It was the sweetest display of solidarity I had ever seen. My dad was so buoyed,even in his grief, by Eddie's love and loyalty.

My dad now sleeps on my mom's side of the bed and my dog sleeps on my dad's. They live next door to us, so I haven't really given him up. Really. I guess I may have.

My sister Jo took my father out for dinner about a week after my mother's funeral. I asked her where she had gone,before she could tell me, she started laughing. She had taken him to a really fancy Federal Hill Restaurant in Providence. She said that my father looked around and then said very seriously, "Eddie would love this place"
As much as I miss that dog, I am doing the right thing. Obviously.

The Miracle of John Leary

My cousins were visiting yesterday and asked me about this picture that my father had in his living room. They were walking out the door. It was hard to race through such a life changing story. I tried. Usually when I tell this story I start off with, "We will have to go all the way back to the Civil War" I have no idea why I say that , maybe because it is so involved and enormous.

When my sister Jo was in college she was active in the peace movement. She became great friends with this fellow named John Leary, who is in the middle here. The other guy is my fabulous brother-in-law Ravi, Jo's husband and I am wearing that stupid beret. I think I was thirteen.

John was special. From the moment I met him I knew that. He graduated magna cum laude from Harvard. He was so smart. He was so kind and he was so humble. He took his degree and threw it to the street. Literally. He lived and worked at Haley House, a Soup Kitchen/ Shelter in Boston. He tutored remedial English to prisoners. He gave and gave. He was running along the Charles River one day and dropped dead. He was 24. He had some weird thing with his heart that strikes one in 15 million people. He used to babysit me.

So many, hundreds and hundreds, of people came to his wake. Two in particular stood out. One was this truck driver that had met John once, two years prior, John had been hitchhiking. This guy had only spent one hour with him. He had read his obituary in the Boston Globe and had driven over an hour to pay his respects. The other was this Catholic nun who said, "When I looked into John's eyes I could see all the way to Heaven"

I was such a teenager at the time and his death hit me hard. I knew exactly what that nun was saying. He had endless blue pools. Endless. I remember trying not to look at his eyes all the time, because if I did look at them, I would stare. They were that intense and beautiful. We used to play jacks. He was so patient with me. How I loved him.

This is just part of my story.

When I was 25 years old I moved to Honolulu with no plan at all (and my father said "a vague purse"). I was staying with some friends, purse getting more and more vague. I decided that I should get a nanny job. I was certainly qualified. I had been a nanny for years in Georgia.

I looked in the newspaper. There were 12 ads. I picked the second to last one because it had the same first 3 numbers as the folks I was staying with. I figured it would be close by. I called the number. The mother and I laughed at the fact that we were both Irish Catholics from New England. Hardy har har. We exchanged names and made a plan to meet the next day. When I arrived at the house I saw that this Irish woman was holding a very Chinese looking baby. I said something offhand like, "Wow, he's gorgeous, my sister is married to an Indian. Her kids are stunning too."

I will never forget her reaction for as long as I live. Her eyes welled up with tears, her four month old slipped a little on her hip. She said, "Is your sister Jo McGowan?" I said, "Yeah, have you read her?" She said, "Well yes, but your sister was my brother's best friend. He died when he was 24" I made the connection at once. I cried too. I said, "You are John Leary's sister? He used to babysit me!" Of course the job was mine and I lived with the lovely Leary/Liu family for 2 and half years!

Rosemary told me that she had been lying in bed the night before praying to John. She said that she told him, "OK John, you have left me down here, and now I have 4 kids. What am I going to do for childcare?" I was so pleased to be an answer to a prayer.Yes.

I often reminded them of that if we disagreed about anything. Anything at all. It became my go-to line. Ahem, I believe I am the answer to the prayer. I believe it was you who placed that prayer and I don't want to eat at Compadres tonight, I'd rather go to Mekong. It never worked, but I never quit working it every chance I got.

I had such a good time in that house. We had so much fun. My little Emily, who had just turned two when I moved in, is now a Sophomore at Northeastern in Boston and she babysits for us!

Saying it with Legos *tm.

My oldest boy wasn't messing around when I slept in (until 8am! the horror!). This is what greeted me this morning.

Jo and Dad

My sister Jo lives in India. (She also hula hoops). She hopped on the the earliest flight that she could upon hearing that my mother was rapidly failing. She had JUST left America 6 weeks earlier! She has been here since June 21st and is staying until July 22nd. She has been by my dad's side constantly. She takes him out for dinner to cute little Federal Hill (Italian section of Providence, RI) bistros. She walks to noon Mass with him. She just sits and chats. She is his favorite, and no one is mad about it. It has always been obvious. It is, however, obvious WHY she is his favorite. She has endless patience with his telling and retelling of stories. I am not that good. I don't know anyone who is, except her.

My dad has stories that can be quite interesting, but my word! Sometimes I hear the same one 4 or 5 times a day! Seriously. He tells them like he has never told them before. Jo listens like she has never heard them before. I have been known to snap,"oh Dad, is this the one where the Mormons stayed at the Fall River YMCA? Yeah, you've told me this one" I am awful. She is not.

More gadgets

My sister Jo ordered pedometers for my boys. First of all, anything that arrives in a brown box and is delivered by the postman (unless it is the book of the month from my "book club" that I forgot to say no to...) is exciting. When it is addressed to Owen and Enzo Cuseo it is wicked exciting. They are so cute with these little trackers. They chart their progress seemingly every step of the way. I tell them to forget about them for a little while and then marvel at all the steps they have accumulated. They can manage about 200 steps. I am continually being updated. They are the stars of the Rhode Island College Track. Nobody can help smiling at their complete goal oriented earnestness.

Then there is the hula hoop. We are so into it. It is a work out to be sure. These are definitely my BEFORE pictures. There is no doubt in my mind that I will reach my fitness goals. I have never been more determined. These boys really keep me in line. I love having a routine.

Most mornings I wake up at 7am. I read the paper and have coffee (and play all my online scrabble games!). Around 8, the boys get up,and we have smoothies. (Frozen fruit, fat free lemon yogurt and OJ). We hang out with my dad, hula hoop and prepare for a 12:30 departure. We go to the pool for exactly 2 hours. I get a lot of laps in, and the boys play (claiming that, too, is good for Iron Man Training).Whatever.

When we get home, I prepare dinner.When Fabio comes home, we all eat. Then it is off to the track. I made a committment to my boys and good luck to me trying to get out of it! The more I do it the more I like doing it. We are up to 20 times around. I am still only up to a non stop jogging mile, but more will come. It is a test. It isn't easy but it is getting easier and I am totally game.

The Family Dinner

We eat dinner as a family most nights. As long as they sit straight and mind their manners, I am fine with their lack of shirts. My parents would never have allowed that.

Breakfast is lost in the the shuffle, we all have different clocks, especially in summer. On weekends we have a breakfast together. Lunch is always on the fly, and usually by the pool.

But dinner? Dinner is an event. It should be an event. I love making fabulous dinners. I love sitting down. I love hearing everything. It is the best time of the day. I am so happy that we have a dishwasher now.

The End

This first picture is funny. I have another shot right after this with my father shoveling pancakes into my sons mouth. Nobody was starving the boy. I just love THIS picture because it is SO funny!


I think about my mother a lot. She died on June 21,2008. She is in the ground. It was such a dramatic end. It was weird because there is this new law that you have to have this big slab of concrete in the ground first? I am still not quite sure. It costs an extra $1600, that I do know. When we got to the cemetery the organizer of this sad event told my sister to have us all go into the Chapel and pray and they would bury my mother,later. Wha? Yeah yeah, we could go on to our mercy meal and they would bury my mother!

Apparently the big slab of concrete was not ready. So we waited.

At last we gathered to say some prayers over my mother's final resting place. It was sad and scary and certain. Again, the event planner spoke up, he told us all to get in our cars and go to The Quequechan Club in Fall River. I hadn't been to a grave side service in a while. I always thought that you watched the casket go down as some final act of closure. That is not the case. He looked shocked when we said we would like to see our mother lowered into the ground.

Maybe I have been watching too many old Irish movies but I thought that we all threw dirt on the grave too. THAT would have really shocked him. He granted our wish, and he called these 3 graveyard workers, dressed in dirty denim pants and brightly colored company shirts. They loosened the pulley from underneath and lowered my mother into the ground. They were very reverent and I am sure that they felt like out of place fools.

Boston v NY

I live in a house divided. My oldest son, Owen is a Yankees fan (because of some girl) and my youngest son,Enzo is correct in his love of The Boston Red Sox. I am astounded that Owen can carry on as he does, breaking all of our hearts.
The Yankees beat the Red Sox last night in the 10th. Papelbon.

Put it out there.

I laughed when Oprah Winfrey with her mega millions said, "put it out to the Universe,it will come" My husband was even less kind. I happened to be watching Oprah because I was in the kitchen preparing dinner. I am not one of her die hard fans who would cry at the sight of her. When she said, "put it out to the Universe" Fabio said, "have another donut".

Still, I liked that idea. So I tried it. My sister Moy and her husband have these amazing seats for the Red Sox. I mean, amazing. 2nd row behind homeplate. They are literally called "golden tickets" and they have a gold rim! We get them occasionally. About a month after that Oprah show aired, we got the tickets. That wasn't my "put it out to the Universe" plea. They have 4 seats and we usually get 2. As we left the Fenway that night I said to Fabio, "If we ever get all four tickets I would love to take David Bryant (he lives in Georgia) and Emily Liu (she lives in Hawaii). There. I said it. Fabio was all, fat chance sweetheart. I told him I was putting it out to the Universe.

David is a big baseball fan and totally gets the Boston Red Sox. Even though he grew up in Macon, GA he sees the history of my ballclub and has always wanted to see a game at Fenway. Emily was my charge in Honolulu for years. Her mom comes from New England. Emily is obsessed with the Red Sox. She knows every player's hometown (even those tiny ones in the Dominican Republic), she knows what kind of cars they drive. She knows all of their wives names and how many kids they have. That is ON TOP of all of their stats,RBIs, ERAs

Almost a year to the date of my putting it out to the Universe, there we sat, 2nd row behind homeplate with Emily and David. Go figure.

Emily is looking miserable in these photos because we just lost.

Photogenic boys

The thing I love most about this picture is the spontaneous laughter. My boys laugh a lot, it is true, but this picture captures heads being thrown back and wide open grins. Enzo had just farted and it was soooo funny.

Fabio

Fabio. I like to call my husband Fabio in print. It looks good. I usually call him Robert to his face. When we lived in Honolulu he was in an Ultimate Frisbee league and there were FOUR (count'em, 1-2-3-4!) other Roberts. Since his last name is Cuseo some guy said to him, "How 'bout we call you Fabio?". He was thrilled, and sort of took on a whole new persona when he was on the field. There was Fabio and there was Robert. Both of them are cute. Fabio always won "The Spirit Award" He said it was because he was old and showed up, but it was more than that. What a character.

He is the one who told me to call this blog "Look at me. Aren't I great?" I laugh out loud everytime I see it. I laugh out loud! He is so funny.

Skipping, jogging, walking and sprinting

This is me, not eating cake. And then that is me continuing not to eat cake. I had a salad for dessert like those French people do. Those are the Owens in the back ground eating cake. Let them.

My ipod has made all the difference in the world to me. I have downloaded a bunch of This American Lifes. THAT is correct English by the way. I also have music, because music definitely makes me move faster. I am able to keep my boys in my sights, as we go round and round and round.

I started SKIPPING today. That is sport, man. I loved it. That is when music is paramount. I also love the easy jog. Nothing heroic, nothing too fast. I do like that quick sprint that moves mind and body. Mostly, I like the steady jog. I am still pretty new at this and making it around the track four times without stopping (while jogging) impresses me to no end. That is a mile, Enzo tells me. We are keeping track (literally). I can walk until I am blue in the face, but that push... that push makes me sing.

I swear it is the track. I have tried to run on city streets and I just don't get the momentum. There is something about going around and around, steady steady.I keep wanting to push.

I am not going to kid myself. I was completely self concious on the street. I envisoned every one driving by chuckling to themselves or making a snide comment to their passenger. Get a load of her and who does she think she is? The people at the track are MY people. We are all doing the same thing. It is a sub culture and I like it.

It is kind of ironic that I am waiting for our baby back ribs to emerge from the Weber. We have corn on the cob, potatoes, salad, and beautiful tomatoes too...but there is also a cake.

Iron Man Training Camp

This summer is shaping up indeed. My sons Owen, 9 and Enzo,7 and I are working out in earnest DAILY. It has become our obsession. Every morning we run/walk/jog/skip around the Rhode Island College track, 14 times. It is great. Home for a healthy lunch and off to the pool. I try to do 30 laps and I am working up to 50.

It is a perfect way to get tan and in tip top form AND entertain the boys. I feel badly for the poor slobs who haven't figured this out. Our TV is only on when there is a Red Sox game.

It seems like a lot of effort but frankly it takes more effort to entertain the boys in a vague and haphazard way. Maybe we will go to the zoo this summer, maybe this and maybe that. Then you do things on the spur of the moment and it comes off or it doesn't.

LISTS! The key to life is LISTS! I love lists. The day school ended I sat the boys down with a pen and paper and made a plan. Our plan was sent into a tailspin upon the death of my beloved mother on June 21, 2008. We are back on course now, they way she would have wanted it.

Her death has provided us with a unique opportunity to spend 3 months in India. It is strange how this life goes. I was my mother's care taker and really couldn't go anywhere for any length of time for the last 3 years.

I still look after my Dad. My sister, Jo is visiting from India and we have hatched a plan. I am pulling my boys out of school from September until Christmas. Dad is coming too.

So after my summer Iron Man blogs (could get booooring) you, gentle reader, can look forward to some insights from an American Housewife in India.

Off to run around in circles. We are starting late today because it is a Holiday. The pool is closed. Happy 4th of July!