Why Not Take All of Me?

What if we give it away? This was taken in Pultan Bazaar, across from the clocktower in downtown Dehradun,in India. The boys and I met this guy,the most bizarre fellow at the bazaar. He asked me to give him all of my money.

Some man on the street translated for me. He couldn't have said 'all'. Really? Talk about crash and burn. I said, "All?" Yep.The bilingual guy assured me that he had heard the little pumpkin correctly. He translated, "Yes Madam, that is what he said, 'She needs to give me all of her money.'"

Oh, he NEEDS me to give him ALL of my money!. Now that makes sense. I thought he just wanted it. He was insisting on compensation for those red dots on the boys foreheads.He had swooped in on them, out of no where, and thumbed both their foreheads. It wasn't as if they had been waiting hours on end in line for an audience with him. Blessed be to God!

That delusional alms seeker even pointed to an ATM! He was so helpful. According to this beggarprophet, his touch was sacred and worth more than gold. Giving him the entire contents of my bank account would have been a bargain. Imagine this- those dots came right off with soap and water.

He got all sullen and disappointed when things didn't go per his instruction. This fly by night, get rich quick scheme of his had some definite holes. I'd love to see his Plan B. He was ridiculously dramatic. And loud. His righteous indignation seemed so sincere, I just couldn't believe it.

Really? Was he really serious? He HAD to be joking. He honestly couldn't have expected me to, first of all, cross that street, period. The ATM was on the other side of the moon, as far as I was concerned. There was no way. Let's just say that I had been foolhardy enough to take two young children on foot across that congested snarl of lawless traffic weaving wildly around meandering cows and herds of goats (and that day, I think I even saw a pig). I can't remember the street's actual name- and I still haven't forgotten it's nickname, "suicide alley".

Then, let's say that the boys and I had survived our journey to the other side,so to speak. I just don't think the next thing I would have done would have been to start punching in my pin number. For me to withdraw a bunch of money with the sole intent of handing it to a guy I had met five minutes earlier and would more than likely never see again in my life should have seemed impossible, even from his perspective. Really? Was my reaction that far in left field for him? He truly seemed shocked. What a riot. He had to have been joking.

Bad luck, little man. We got in the next available rickshaw, clutching all that we had in our fists. He didn't even get a token offering from us which he probably would have if he hadn't behaved so badly. He was kind of neat to look at. I would have given him something for that.