This picture was taken in 1996. It was Christmas morning. I was talking to my parents. I make very few phone calls. Since this picture was taken I have probably made less than 100 phone calls. That is not a lot when you do the math.
I find the phone annoying. I am extremely bothered by it. When it rings, I get a physical reaction. My stomach sinks. I feel it. Every single time. I get nervous. I don't like it.
I will be happily reading, or writing or cooking or you know, anything-making my bed. Out of nowhere I will hear a loud ringing in my ear. It assaults me. Next I am supposed to pick up the offending object and merrily say, "Hello!"
Back in the day that may have been novel but we have email and facebook and text messaging now. I am not anti-social at all, I can be down right animated and engaging face to face, but get me on a phone? I am hopeless. I need facial reactions. Dead silence is not nearly as intimidating when you can see the person. You have a million common distractions to restore the flow. You can get up, use hand gestures, even pull props out of your bag.
When there is a lull in conversation when you are on the phone you are forced to fill it with some inane thought that has leapt into your mind at that very moment. My thoughts tend to "I am so tired." Tired of talking on the phone.
When I lived in Athens, Georgia I didn't have a phone. I didn't even realize it. I just went over to people's houses unannounced or biked downtown. I never made plans and I always had fun. I never really had a phone until I moved in with Fabio. (I had one growing up too, of course).
On my 34th birthday, I decided to answer the phone. I thought it might be a family member calling to wish me well. We didn't have caller id (my favorite thing ever)yet. It was the sister of a friend of a friends. I am not kidding. I had met her a few weeks earlier at a party and somehow birthdays were brought up. I said that mine was in a few weeks. She asked me the date.
She is a perfectly lovely gal but please. That weird phone call was exhausting and unnecessary. That is when I really started hating the phone. I spoke to her-a woman I barely knew- for 20 minutes about NOTHING and it was my birthday!!
Ugh! There it goes. As I type, that blasted thing is ringing. Fabio is out with the boys. It is up to me. My stomach hurts. Oh good. It is Providence City. I don't have to answer it. It is the School Department calling to tell parents about a Summer program for the kids.
Can't they send an email?
That is what I like to do. I always return phone calls with emails. I write long ones too. I try to think them through. Email allows you to refer back to your notes. No one is sitting by you while you yak on the phone taking minutes of all the highlights and key points.
Email is so much more relaxing. You can get the kids to bed, make a nice cup of tea, take a deep breath and think. You can be assured that whoever it is that you are trying to convey a message to is reading your words with their full attention, at their convenience. At least that is the case for me.
If I am caught off guard by the telephone, and forced to think on my feet immediately I just don't make any sense. I love sitting down at the end of a long day and reading a good letter as opposed to trying to banter cheerfully while boiling pasta for dinner.
The telephone is distracting and intrusive. It always rings and demands your attention when it is least convenient for you. Gawd, and then you have to be NICE.
I would like to be placed on the Do Not Call List. If it is an emergency-fine.I am not unreasonable.
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1 comment:
I have a similar visceral reaction to the phone ringing. I think it comes from my waitressing days--once or twice I overslept for my shift and got a very urgent phone call. It's rattling. Also my mother-in-law calls a LOT. Many a time I pick up the phone and then immediately start fantasizing about just hanging up as if it never happened. I am thinking Caller ID may be in my future.
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